Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Where I've been......and where I'm going.... ;)

It seems like forever since I've written on here.  My life has changed so much since the beginning of this year.  I have been on such a wonderful journey, and realized this is not one that anyone can convince you to take, or one that anyone can take for you.  I have discovered that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be, and that I can do anything I set my mind too.  Those of you that know me, (in real life, not just through the computer) know that I've always had that attitude, but what you didn't know is that on the inside, I was a scared little kid. 
The last time I got on a scale before this journey began, I was 189 lbs., after that, I refused to get on the scale, but knowing that I out grew another pair of jeans, I'll wage I was closer to 200 lbs.  I couldn't go up the steps in my house without being out of breath.  I was exhausted all the time.  My allergies and asthma had taken over my lungs.  All I wanted to do was sit and sleep.  Not play with my babies, not walk with my dogs, not dance...which I love to do.  Something had to change. 
Finally, after a conversation, I realized, it was me believing the same things I had felt as a child, that I could never make anyone happy, or that no one would ever be proud of me, and decided, that's it...I need to find out how to make ME happy, and anyone that doesn't love me for who I am, and wants to put me down, needs to not be in my life, and after that moment....I was a different person.
This, is the girl that started this journey on January 6, 2011.
It was a struggle to make myself do anything, but luckily, I have some wonderful people around me, that listened, and told me to move my ass when I needed it.  The girl that kicks me around the gym, is some one you may know....Lisa from ToldUSo.  Whether or not she admits it, she is an amazing motivator and friend...(besides, she likes to see me in!)  I started taking her spinning class, in fact the first time she had me on a bike, I lasted exactly 18 minutes, and then had to lay on the floor because I wasn't sure if I was going to pass out, or puke.  I also started running.  I used the couch to 5k program, and thought I was going to DIE after 30 seconds of running.... I used things I have learned from a friend named Julie about eating, and started keeping track of how many calories I was eating...which was scary at first... :)
Fast forward until today...this is me now....
If you go by the last weight I knew, I've lost over 20 lbs.  I can run over 3 miles, (4 if you tell me to run to  I take spinning class for 45 minutes twice a week, I'm careful of what I eat, but I will not starve and there are things I won't give up, I will not ever be on a diet.  This is a change for life, not until I drop weight.  I don't take crazy weight loss pills, I will be HEALTHY, not skinny.  I will be strong, not a twig, and most of all, I am happier. 
I will run my first 5k on May 21st, and another in September, then I'd like to train for a 10k, and then a half marathon... o and for the first time in my life...I have the coolest muscles in my!!
So if you've wondered where I've you know....and if you see me running down the road...please don't splash me with the puddles!! 
My shop will also be under going some changes.  I've been busy making candles and new items, along with working on the Relay for Life quilt.  I've started getting donations again this year for our live auction, and hope to share all of those items with you guys soon!!